When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
