at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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