Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
