Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
