I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
