you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize