okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
