Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
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