P.S. I can't hear my feet
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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