Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
