hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
