If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
