Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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