She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
