what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
