Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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