i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
