I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
