according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have post one night stand depression
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
