i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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