I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
