is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
they need to just BURY HIM!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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