The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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