so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
