my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
