Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
