In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
