Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
