Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
