Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
