we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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