Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
