He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
