So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
