it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
