I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The air taste purple.
Randomize
