I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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