im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
