just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My pussy is not your playground.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
