I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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