I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
