How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
