i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So squirting runs in the family.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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