Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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