WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
