Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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