He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
