Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
