she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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