We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
