I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
