mondays should just be called national damage control day
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
