you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
